Ever Have One of Those Days?

Where your going-on-6 month old wakes up not two, but three times overnight...

Creating a horrible inability to enter REM sleep, except of course right before you have to wake up at 6:30am...

After, of course, your somewhat uneventful 8-year anniversary (nobody's fault but our own, and we did exchange pretty awesome gifts, I must say) that involved actually having a sit-down take out sushi dinner together and thus being awake past 10pm...

Leaving you feeling a whole new plane of tired...

You have a sitter coming at 9 so you can go to a very important meeting for your new film...

She's late...

And then you discover your car won't start...

And you end up hanging around for 2 hours waiting for the jump...

Then rushing to the meeting through LA traffic, and the meeting is cut short because you are so late...

And you finally return home, hand over $60, and realize it was basically for nothing...

And you are nearly comatose, super cranky and totally frazzled?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Danny in the "newspaper"

Okay, it's probably only the on-line edition, but , hey, in less than 10 years a newspaper made of paper won't actually exist. Nevertheless, look who made it in the LA Daily News (the valley newspaper):

NYC Recap

Well, it truly was the agony and the ecstasy in the 212. The ups and downs of this trip were pretty spectacular. Let me jump right in.

Needless to say, not a great way to spend one's 36th birthday. [Fortunately, the night before, I traipsed my way to the new Nordstrom on the Promenade to pick up the AMAZING boots my mom bought me for my birthday - I'm talking greatest birthday gift ever here - and I was still basking in the glow of them.]

I should back up and say this trip was decided pretty last minute. Our Baltimore doc was invited to the IFP market, but they couldn't tell us which distributors wanted to meet with us until a week prior. So I was going to wait and see if it was worth it. Well, HBO, PBS, A&E and MSNBC among others requested meetings, and thus it seemed important that I go. I was originally going to leave Matty behind, so I booked a redeye, figuring ANY flight without a kid now is basically pure luxury, so who cared.

Then we found out that Matty's weight was a little low, and that I really needed to bring him with me to nurse. So I realized the redeye was not a great idea. So I changed my flight last minute and ended up with a middle seat in the back. Misery. So I paid to upgrade to "Main Cabin Select" - which meant the bulkhead seat and free food. Great.

Show up and some dude is sitting in my seat. He and his wife ask if I'll sit on the aisle. Fine. Then they ask if I would switch seats with his "aunt" sitting behind us. I'm just tired, and out of sorts, so I say, "sure," even though I paid more for my seat. I just don't want to get into it with anybody on my birthday. But the flight attendant was walking by at that exact second, and goes OFF on the guy - "this is an upgraded seat - she paid for this - you can't intimidate her into switching with you!!" He is TICKED! I say I really don't care, it's not a big deal. Well, he takes my ticket, reverses the charge from my card, gives me a $25 voucher towards my next flight, tells me food and movies are on the house, and the coup d'etat - BLOCKS OFF MY ENTIRE ROW!!! I had the entire row to myself!! I literally looked around to see if I was on Candid Camera.

Anyway, we arrive in New York just before midnight...



...and there went my birthday, boo hoo. Well, not quite - because I show up at Bunny and Jason's ridiculously enormous apartment on the Upper West Side and she has a cupcake with a candle - 'twas very sweet. Matty's all set up in a little nook next to Hailey's room, and we pull out the couch and wind it down.

The next day is the orientation for the film market, and I bring Matty with me. Not a great idea, because he decides to have a loud conversation with the air, and I basically have to stand in the hallway. Unfortunately, there's a lot of information I'm missing about splitters and showing trailers and one-sheets and the way the meetings should go. I begin to get a little stressed out. Emily tries to fill me in but it's a little stressful.

So we reconnoiter that night to try and get ourselves into shape for the next day. Problem is, ever since I had kids, I swear I never feel able to pull it together the way I used to, and it's a challenge. I really needed an entire day to get ready, but I had from about 8-10pm, after putting Matty down. This working mom thing is hard. And the Pope is Catholic. I decide at least I'm there, and that's better than NOT being there, even if I'm operating at what feels like 40% or so. Ugh.

Anyway, the big day is Monday, so I try to get some sleep. We have 6 meetings back to back and they're the big ones. HBO, PBS, MSNBC, A&E, etc. Bunny's booked a nanny to watch Matty - she was the nanny of her son Maxim's friend who just relocated to Philly. The nanny and I talk on the phone that day and we agree to meet at 8:30 and head down to the meeting location together.

Matty's up at about 6:15, I'm up too - to see that my phone is glowing with a text. Nanny cannot make it - she has "abdominal pains."

Oh. Crap.

Honestly, I have no idea what happened over the next hour or so, it was a total blur of insanity and white hot raging stress, except that at some point around 7am I call my dad out of total desperation, and he THANK GOD is a HERO and jumps on the next train to New York. So Bunny (who is beside herself too) helps me down to the film market, and when Dad arrives she hands off the bebe.

The first meeting is great. Emily and I are both nervous but we hang in there and they're interested and we're excited. But then things go downhill. Next guy is a Dutch dude who basically hates the movie. He tells us we need to get "a good camera man" - which is especially horrible since Emily shot the trailer he just watched. Ouch. He tells us the family story is boring and we should focus on the investigation - as if he wants this to be an episode of Law and Order. That's fine. Whatever dude.

Then we meet with two ladies who tell us we have no right to make this film as white people.

Mkay. Why are we here again?? Why did I just fly cross country with my infant again??

Fortunately though, things take a dramatic turn for the better after this. HBO's really interested, MSNBC loves it, and PBS practically writes us a check at the table. This is great. Lots to follow up on, very promising, great networking, feeling like this was worth it.

Besides, Dad gets to spend some time with Matty, who is a total trooper on the streets of New York, napping in the stroller and just smiling at everybody with that amazing smile he has. At the end of the day, we drop Dad off at Penn Station, thanking him for literally saving my butt, and we walk back all the way home from Chelsea, really really digging being in New York and just soaking it all up. It didn't hurt that the weather was GORGEOUS.



So in the middle of NANNYGATE 2010 that morning, I had emailed Bryan Tucker's wife Rachael to see if she had any ideas to help, and she was so kind to say that if I brought Matty over on Tuesday, Bryan would watch him, and then their nanny would take over when he went off to work around noon. So Tuesday morning I am up at the crack of dawn again, and walk Matty in the stroller across Central Park to their place - they are almost directly across town from Bunny and Jason. It's great to see Bryan, and he seems excited to hang out with little man (albeit he admits he's already totally forgotten everything from their daughters - "so what do I do with him," he asks?).

I cannot get a cab, so I run to the subway, have to change trains 3 times, but make it in the nick of time for Meetings Day 2. Much less dramatic today - meetings all good (especially Canadian Broadcasting, of all things) - especially the one where the guy tells us we have more meetings than anybody he's met with. Very cool.

Back up to Bryan and Rachael's, walk Matty back across the park...



... and at this point my very comfortable shoes are rubbing off entire layers of skin on my heel. Awesome. It's either these or heels. Great.

Back to the Rulnick pad, and all is well. Winding down. The only meeting left is with a certain Institute that is connected with Robert Redford, and I'm very very excited. I stayed an entire extra day for this one and I'm very hopeful. We all go to bed.

Until.

1am. Poor poor little Hailey starts crying, then coughing, then barking like a seal. It's croup. Gah. Bunny's understandably freaked out and scared and they end up in the bathroom running hot water until the wee hours. Poor Hailey. Good thing is her spirits seem OK, so nobody has to go the ER. And somehow Matty sleeps through the entire thing. [God I love that kid.]

Next day, we're up (barely), we stroll around the 'hood a little bit, and then Bunny is so kind as to watch Matty while I head down for the big meeting.



Which I almost walked out of. This lady has us wait for 10 minutes while she finishes a phone call (NOBODY ELSE DID THIS - nobody.) The incredible hubris. Unbelievable. She then tells us to apply for their grant. "Oh, we did," we say. "We were rejected." And we see in her eyes that the meeting must have been a mistake. "Well, I guess I can give you some trailer feedback?..." she says, dismissively.

"Uh, great?" we say, beyond ticked off.

So she watches the trailer and proceeds to just sort of shoot the breeze until the end of our time, making pretty inane suggestions that are unbelievably unhelpful.


I stayed an entire extra day for this? What if I'd gotten a hotel?? We were furious. I will forever conflate that woman and the Croup. In fact, if I ever see her again, I will call her "Croupy" to her face!! Ugh!!!

So we finally head to the airport, totally wiped out and ready to get home.



And for the finale, our flight was delayed nearly 3 hours leaving JFK due to thunderstorms.

At least we got home safely, and Matty was an angel on the flight.

So, what can I say? Magical flight attendants, heroic dads, wonderful and exciting meetings with rad movie people, great old friends coming through, angelic Matty, beautiful weather in a phenomenal city...right alongside evil nannies, horrible and soul-sucking meetings with the worst kind of movie people, the Croup, aching feet and flight delays.

Phew.


Now, unfortunately, both Matty and I are sick. But hey, all I wanted was to get home before it happened. I can live with this.

Oh, and p.s., they featured us in IndieWire magazine!

One Tooth in the Big Apple

For the record, this child is the greatest traveling companion in the world. We are having a ball! We miss Daddy and Danny, but me and One Tooth are living it up in NYC. More later...

If avocados are $1.50...

then Matthew is wearing about 38 cents worth of avocado. Of course, he finds them delicious, especially the Haas since they have that bacon-y flavor. His diet has expanded from oatmeal to include carrots, sweet potatoes, and avocados (natch).

Latest Goings On

So let's see what's the haps here with the Pants Department...

Last week Danny took a spill down the stairs and banged up his face pretty good - this picture doesn't really do it justice, but it was a proper shiner.



Danny has also been doing rather well with his potty training, as seen by the chart here. 5 days in a row and he got to pick a toy, which was a little matchbox "Speed" from the movie Cars.



Mom redesigned the train table and is insanely proud of her handiwork...



And here is the little guy, dressed by Danny. He's also started eating bananas, and has moved up to 6-9 month clothes - always kind of a thrill to do the swap out.

No Preschool!

Just in case any of you grandparents were thinking today was Danny's first day of school, we decided to push it off another year.

I felt a lot of excitement when they offered Danny the spot, because it felt really serendipitous and it's a hard school to get into, but over the weekend the excitement grew into a lot of anxiety about the adjustment this would be for both Danny and the family - between radical nap shifting (or loss of nap altogether) and missing David at night (figuring he'd be so exhausted from no nap and being in school that he'd go to sleep before David got home), and his being about 2 months too small to really start preschool, I just panicked and it didn't feel right.

I talked to Dad, talked to David, and called the school. The director had been mulling it over all weekend too, and when I said I think he's just too young, she responded that I was making the right decision both for us and for the school. We both sounded really relieved.

I'm going to get a babysitter twice a week for 4 hours, and enroll Danny in a toddler class at this school hopefully - where he goes in for about 3 hours with me (and Matty) and does a very easy version of the same thing. Cooper isn't in school either, so his mom and I have decided to meet every Monday or Tuesday for a few hours to get them together.

I'm disappointed, and feel a little whiplash, but I know it's the right decision. We'll wait for a better situation and for little guy to get a little older.

Drama!

Preschool!

So you know, you never know.

OK, so I've mentioned to some of you that getting your child into a good preschool in LA (and NYC) is considered worse than getting them into Ivy League colleges. There have been movies about this and articles and it's all absolutely insane. I've received multi-page excel spreadsheets with information from friends. My friend Sarah started touring preschools when her daughter was TWO MONTHS OLD. People are putting their kids on lists when they are still pregnant. Our friends in NYC have told me absolute HORROR stories of playdates where the kids are watched and graded and then the parents are watched and graded and one kid who will remain nameless stole a toy and they got it on hidden camera and needless to say he wasn't invited that year...

Anyway, partly out of pure denial, partly out of resistance to this whole trend, and partly out of sheer exhaustion, I completely whiffed the application process for Danny to get into preschool when I should have been doing it this Spring. I tried, I really did. I bought the book COPING WITH PRESCHOOL PANIC - yes, I swear to you, that is an actual book out here in LA. I read it, studied it, made notes, ranked the schools I liked...and went on two whole tours. One was a really great Montessori school in Mar Vista that offered Danny a place right away in their daycare program, but I balked. There was no outdoor area at all, and the classrooms were big. He just looked so tiny there. The other one, First Years right around the corner here in Venice, is considered, once again I swear to you, a "Westside Ivy" - i.e., really well regarded and virtually impossible to get into. But I really liked this one, it was small and intimate, had a fabulously homey/stimulating/adorable backyard with a huge tree and turtles and rabbits and a garden and healthy snacks and a fort inside and lots of books, and I just loved it.

So I applied there, and well, who knows what happened. Levon heated up, I got tired, I just went into denial I think. And then I called in May, they said they were full, and I just, well, I just decided not to think about it.

I honestly have been avoiding the playground a little bit, because inevitably the question comes up, "is he going to preschool?" and I have to answer, "yeah, well, I only applied one place and he didn't get in, and well, I'm not that worried about it..." and then they proceed to look at Matthew and think to themselves so loudly I can almost hear it, "OH RIGHT, GOOD LUCK WITH THESE TWO FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR...."

So I've been thinking about it a lot, and here's the thing with the two of them - I can't do anything. On Fridays we go to the Farmer's Market and the library, but besides our Thursday playgroup, I am pretty much stuck at home. I honestly would LOVE to take Matty to the grocery store, or for a cup of coffee - and I'm not kidding. But taking both to the smallest errand turns into an ordeal. Unless there are kids Danny's age occupying him, I kind of lose my mind a little bit. And Danny's getting ready for more than just me. All of his buddies from my mom's group are either in school now or going into school this Fall. Oh, and I'd like to get a little bit of work done here and there.

So, all this in mind, and mostly thinking I had just kind of royally screwed up, I made a casual phone call to First Years just to say, hey, if anybody drops out, we're here and we'd like to come in mid-year if you need somebody.

Well, lo and behold, she tells me they literally just had a drop out and they have a space. Guess she liked my voice!!

WHAT? I cannot believe our luck. I actually want to write an article for the LA Times that says "See, no worries Moms! Just kick back, apply to one place, relax, and it will all work out!" but I think I'd be firebombed.

So anyway, we're going on Tuesday to check it out!! He'd go MWF from 2:30 - 6. The timing isn't ideal because it's right in the middle of his nap, but I'm going to try and push him to sleep a little earlier and just wake him up a bit early to go. I'm sure if a morning spot opens up, he'll get it, and then next year we don't have to WORRY when it's really time to worry because he's 3 1/2 and climbing the walls. And then if we're still here Matty will get in too.

So that's the skinny here. I'm both incredibly excited and very very overwhelmed with the gravity of the fact that our little guy might be going to school (well, whatever it is - fun camp for a few hours a few days a week). But he seems really excited, and I think this could be great for him. And for me, and for Matty too.

He has his professional sports nickname picked out

Matt "Crazy Legs" Butler.

Food!

It may not be carnitas and guacamole yet (Danny's current favorite meal), but you have to start somewhere.